Soliloquy
Step past the curtains, have a seat. Forget your burdens, with just a single treat.
[Balmung] Empyreum ( Ward 3, Plot 45 )
Hours: Whenever needed!
Call upon our Soulkin Assistant!
Come on in, there's no need to be distant!
( All transactions are IC— You won't need to spend any real gil. )
Menu
Spriggan CookiesChocolate cookies with sugar 'crystals'! How they hope you'll also have a taste for their sweet minerals!
Coffees and Teas of all varieties!We also have milk, and DEFINITELY juice— We can't forget our healthy drinkable fruits.
Coblyn CakeMini vanilla or strawberry cakes, topped with vanilla icing and split apart with rock candy geodes to make a beautiful crystalscape. Candy coblyns are spilling to make their grand escape!
Carby SandwichDe-crusted and loaded with veggies, cheese, condiments and delicious meat that make these tiny Carbuncles safe to eat!
Porxie SoupCreamy potato and bacon (porxie) soup, topped with chives and a little porxie pork bun on the side. We promise it's not a real porxie, we've nothing to hide.
BagelA bagel.
Drippy's Sparkling WaterSparkling water that tastes much like a fizzy blueberry, with a Drippy-shaped sugar cookie that will always be merry!
If you find yourself in need of company, why— We have a friend or three!
Soulkin Companions
Cait SithFriendly and playful, this CATastrophe will happily join you at your table!
~
Crafted by Galahad Vertu
The Last UnicornTalkative and mystical, she will prove to be quite whimsical. A horned little horsey, who recites fairytales to those who would enjoy a nice story.
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Crafted by Galahad Vertu
Clockwork LanternWith a lantern as bright as day, you couldn't possibly lose your way. It sits quietly in your lap, so its warmth can lull you into a pleasant nap.
~
Crafted by Seiun Uyagir
Page 63A book that spits all kinds of facts and history to all who would listen, for education is its most important mission.
~
Crafted by Seiun Uyagir
Yet still, there is mischief in the air. Have a look...
Cursed Items
Poppet DollSimply snatch a piece of hair, and their fate you shall ensnare.
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Crafted by Galahad Vertu
Fragrance of VeracityWhen they inhale this sage-scented bouquet, the truth is all they will have to say.
~
Concocted by Fenris Zeheqi'ir
Silencing NecklacePlace the necklace on the one spewing their hate, and the jewel will steal their voice. They will go unheard, all because of their own vile choice.
~
Crafted by Galahad Vertu
*Helpful Tip: Curse magic is not typically broken until the curse is fulfilled as per the practitioner's intent/desire, or the cursed item is thoroughly destroyed. *
Blessed Items
Bottle of Forget-Me-NowPlace a small item of theirs in this bottle, and when you crush it underfoot, you will no longer feel the need to squabble. For they have no more ties to your heart, and with that, your healing may start.
~
Created by Seiun Uyagir and Galahad Vertu
Rose Quartz Heart
Carry the 'heart' with you, and ask it carefully to guide love your way. Soon enough, surely, love of any form will reach you: Come what may.
~
Crafted by Galahad Vertu
Pendant of Pet Protection*Attach the pendant to the collar of your pet, and wish for their safety and health as your companion in this life. They will be granted many years by your side, and those years will be without strife. *
~
Crafted by Seiun Uyagir
Brightlily's Boon
Wearing the lily will soothe your shaken heart and your physical pains, for a wish full of love it contains.
~
Crafted by Adrasteius Solumieux
*And what of our employees? *
Employees
Galahad VertuOne of the owners— A woman who seems to be a Raen, but that may be a tossup. Her tail is fuzzy, yet she also has horns? Something must be up.
Seiun UyagirOne of the owners— an amicable soulkin artisan and historian. Her peaceful demeanor sometimes gives way to an unsettling stoicism.
Thanks for coming!
The Dreaded Bagel...
The victm who eats the bagel must roll /random twice: First for taste, second for effect. The higher it is, the worse off they are...
Taste
You may pick and choose whichever variation you like depending on the roll. Creativity is encouraged if you would prefer to write an unlisted flavor! Taste is instantaneous.
Effect
Effects take place after 5 minutes in real-time and last for a few hours (Unless cleansed with an Esuna spell). Creativity is encouraged here as well.
0-10
Variation 1: A pleasant fragrant floral taste. A veritable sweet bed of flowers somehow baked into bread.Variation 2: Buttered mashed popotos with a steak dinner.Variation 3: Minty fresh like toothpaste! Wow!
10-99
Variation 1: Bitter dark chocolate. The most bitter of all.Variation 2: Hilariously burnt toast, despite the bagel looking perfectly fine.
100-199
Variation 1: Black licorice. Gross.Variation 2: A strange iron taste. Is there blood in this thing?Variation 3: Super sour lemon.
200-299
Variation 1: Extremely salty. Ungodly amounts of salt. The victim may feel their sodium intake has gone up.Variation 2: A mouthful of secondhand smoke from the world's oldest cigar, somehow.
300-399
Variation 1: The bitter taste of drinking orange juice after brushing the teeth.Variation 2: Grass. Do you like grass? This tastes just like grass. Have fun being a grazing animal.
400-499
Variation 1: Expired yak's milk. One might even feel the chunky bits on their tongue.Variation 2: A used piece of gum that has had all of its flavor chewed out of it already. Likely left under a desk somewhere.Variation 3: Have you ever seen a banana that's totally black and mooshy on the inside? It tastes like that.
500-599
Variation 1: Weirdly jizz flavored. If the victim doesn't know what that tastes like... Just describe it as somewhat salty and sort of thick. Like weird yogurt.Variation 2: Pineapple pizza. (Someone will either hate this or love this.)
600-699
Variation 1: Super spicy, like eating a whole blob of Wasabi.Variation 2: A pickle that's been marinating in its own juice for way too long.Variation 3: Leftover spaghetti that has been in someone's pocket.
700-799
Variation 1: Body odor, but if it had a taste. Like licking someone's armpit.Variation 2: Moldy bread. The whole thing tastes like mold.
800-899
Variation 1: Someone's crusty gym socks. It doesn't matter who they belonged to, it's gym socks.Variation 2: Mayonnaise. Just an entire mouthful of mayonnaise.
900-998
Variation 1: The rotten carcass of a fish stuck in a sewage drain.Variation 2: Like biting into a cockroach that's been... Everywhere. Cronchy.
999
Variation 1: A pungent vomit taste that fills the mouth and even makes the throat burn. Good luck keeping this down.Variation 2: Fresh dog feces. Awful. Terrible.Variation 3: Unwashed toes.
0-10
Variation 1: Endless hiccups. Mildly annoying.Variation 2: Butter fingers! Their fingers are now slippery and everything they pick up slips out of their grip way too easily.
10-99
*Variation 1: Their body turns invisible and it doesn't effect the clothes. It looks very silly. *Variation 2: Inanimate objects begin speaking to them, but no one else sees or hears it. That mug they're holding says hello!
100-199
Variation 1: They are forcibly teleported elsewhere in the room or even somewhere outside every ten minutes or so. Almost like they're lagging...Variation 2: They become terribly hyperactive. Jittery, like a very intense high or manic state. Perhaps they will even get the zoomies.
200-299
Variation 1: They are forced to speak backwards. It sounds like they've either been possessed or speaking a strange alien language...Variation 2: Somehow it feels as if bugs are crawling all over them, even threatening to crawl into their ears or other orificies, but no matter how hard they look, nothing is there.
300-399
Variation 1: They grow fur all over their body, colored just like their natural hair. Werewolf vibes, but just they are just a furry now.
400-499
Variation 1: They begin to float about like a balloon! Gravity is no longer a thing for them. Do not let them outside, and perhaps tie them down.Variation 2: Everywhere on their body is suddenly extremely sensitive. A single touch sends their senses into overdrive. Even their clothes feel uncomfortable to wear...
500-599
Variation 1: They got hit with the horny stick. Almost debilitating, how much they need to relieve themselves.Variation 2: Their head turns into an animal head of any kind! Suggestions: Rabbit, Frog, Chocobo, Moogle, Pig, Elephant, Dog, Cat
600-699
Variation 1: They are unable to keep their thoughts to themselves and verbalize whatever pops up into their head! Totally unfiltered!Variation 2: They can feel every emotion that's rolling around in the room, as if it's their own. Every single one. They may or may not be able to differentiate who those emotions are coming from. Either way, it's very overwhelming!
700-799
Variation 1: Hilariously, it will feel like... Nothing at all has happened! But something in their brain tells them they have gained a strange new ability. Compelled to maybe open a magical portal of some kind... (This effect lasts for 3 days and can be used whenever. The victim is now able to teleport to The First and explore it until those 3 days are up.)
800-899
Variation 1: Everything they touch with their bare hands begins to slowly rot away, or turn to dust. Be careful not to let them touch anything! Note: If they touch themselves, nothing will happen to them!
900-998
Variation 1: They suddenly attract the spirits of the dead and may hear strange voices, almost as if someone is right next to them. Begging to be noticed, asking strange personal questions...
999
Variation 1: The victim falls in love with whomever they make eye-contact with. They feel compelled to spew cringe romance lines and flirt in their worst ways. Maybe ask for their hand in marriage.
